So in class the other day we were learning about the sleeping habits of newborn babies when one of the guys says “I would nickname my baby Gotham, so in the middle of the night when the baby cries my partner can whisper “Gotham needs you” and I would feel excellent about having to get out of bed”.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off
Suddenly, there is a great rumbling.
Over hill, over dale, through forest, through fog, they come. Some walk. Some fly. Some crawl. Some simply move deep within the bowels of the earth. They are massive in number, terrifying in their fury. They blot out the sun from the grass below. They nearly shake the earth from orbit with their rage.
They are the English majors.
They give a fuck about an Oxford comma.
the next time you think you’re lonely, just remember you have about 25 billion white blood cells in your body protecting your sorry little ass with their life. you have 25 billion friends who would die for you. no need for tears.
I actually needed that.
You are not free until you have no need to impress anybody.
Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.